Aphorisms of a Crab

Quiet Time

2009-07-27T16:41:00.000-04:00

Be back soon... or later... time will tell.

A Diamond In The Sky

2008-05-12T12:25:00.006-04:00

Flyin' Like An Eagle

So my sister-in-law took a little bit of a leap in life. How incredible is this? She dropped the 'f' bomb once in the video but who wouldn't?? I'm so very happy for her. Congratulations on reaching one of your dreams, Rice-A-Roni!

PS - Do I not have the cutest niece EVAH???

Chest Pains, Irony, A Snack and A Smile

2008-05-09T14:18:00.003-04:00

I had to find some humor in the fact that when I pulled up my blog this morning the top 'Google Ad' was about chest pains. Our family has been through a lot of trying times quite recently, not the least of which was a series of chest pains I had to see a cardiologist about. The Google Gods are psychic.

Ironically, despite the seeminly unyielding waves of stressors that are flinging themselves at my proverbial door, I started working on my book again and a new blog about how to reduce stress, relax and recharge your life. Self-healing? You betcha!

And finally, the snack. It's not really a snack - just a metaphorical one. A snack for your life. Take a few minutes this weekend and find something beautiful. Walk in the rain, look at the moon, contemplate a flower, share a smile, call an old friend or even paint a picture - even if you don't know how to paint. Give your life a snack and a smile!

Harmony Isle

2008-05-09T13:04:00.001-04:00

Please visit my new blog: http://harmonyisle.blogspot.com/

I hope to add information to it several times a week.

Enjoy and thank you for reading!

Kim

Affirmation of Her Heart

2008-03-06T15:42:00.001-05:00

My heart is tired.
Beleaguered by the passing of time.
She yearns for rest in peaceful solitude,

My spirit is angry.
A warrior, she rages against the assault on her life,
Guarding the precious repositories of her strength.

My faith is tattered.
Storms of chaos have left her gasping for air,
Scattering her center across a mournful plain of despair.

My soul is weeping.
Mourning the passing of dreams stripped naked by reality,
She holds a shimmering seed of hope within her hands.

I am strong.
I will grant my heart rest and solitude.
I will choose to face and quiet the rage.
I will seek out and rebuild my faith.
I will cleanse and comfort my soul.

In the fertile ground of my life I will plant the seed.
My spirit will provide the light.
My faith will provide the shelter.
My soul will provide the nourishment.

In the garden of my life,
Born from the seed of my hope,
Tended by the nature of who I am,
Love will grow abundant,
Bearing fruit for all who have a place within my heart,
And we will be at peace.

Affirmation of His Heart

2008-03-06T15:39:00.002-05:00

My heart is raging.
Suffering the repercussions of history,
He yearns for understanding and forgiveness within.

My spirit is fearful.
Unsure of every step and choice,
He struggles to learn a balance of self and selflessness.

My faith is errant.
Dismissed in storms of anger, frustration and fear,
He is lost in a sea of discord with no beacon to lead him home.

My soul is withered.
Stripped by neglect and recklessness,
The path has become overgrown and lost to him over time.

I am strong.
I will forgive myself and set my heart free.
I will seek out the wisdom of my experience to banish fear.
I will open the door to my faith and learn to trust again.
I will be accountable for my actions and responsible for my soul.

In the rebuilding of my life,
Contrived by my commitment,
Strengthened by the resolve of my dreams,
I will build a creation of wonder,
And unyielding shelter that will protect all that is dear to me,
And we will be at peace.

Hello, Pacific Ocean

2008-02-05T08:30:00.000-05:00

I had the opportunity to travel out to LA on business this past week. It was chilly (40 degrees when I landed) but the weather had cleared-up beautifully after the heavy rains they had been having. I took the opportunity to wander around some of my favorite places:

The Getty Museum

Huntington Beach

And finally headed home...

It's good to be home.

Time Passes Gently Onward

2008-01-22T07:51:00.000-05:00

The path winds long behind us,
Bound memories unfurl.
Shared visions for the future
Helped to create our worlds.

A distant calling binds us,
A promise to begin.
Unspoken admiration
Resonates on the wind.

Enraptured by the shadow
Of yesteryears gone by.
Nostalgia sweet as honey
Ignites us each inside.

Bright flickers of remembrance,
Draw spirit back to life.
Echoes of soft innocence
Mirrored in wise eyes.

However brief the moment
Of honest mirth and bliss
It stokes the inner fire,
Life's breath a searing kiss.

Shared moments at a crossroad
And then our separate ways.
Kinships soon forgotten
Adrift upon life's waves.

Time passes gently onward,
Until we meet again,
Remember that I love you
And I will see you then.

May it not be so long that we stay apart from those that are important in our lives. Life is far too fickle for that.

Kimba

NEW YEAR'S TEARS

2008-01-15T20:30:00.000-05:00

The passing of another year
Heralded by our wretched tears.
Deep below a sea of green
Mother Earth released a scream.
Hear me, Children!
Feel me quake!
Undo all the mischief made.

Rivers swell with pain and grief
Frightening beauty, sadly brief.
Banks are breached and waters surge.
Nature’s wrath sees sins are purged.
Hear me, Children!
Know my pain!
Wake and see the things I change.

Storm clouds gather across the sky,
Circling wrath around an eye.
Raging against the shores of man,
Cleansing torrents scour the land.
Hear me, Children!
See me weep!
Over promises you did not keep.

The passing of another year
Heralded by our wretched tears.
Will we hear her and change our ways?
Or will we deny her and walk away?
Hear me, Children!
Do not delay!
The gifts I’ve given can be ripped away.

A Painful Path

2008-01-12T10:44:00.000-05:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood
and sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
and looked down one as far as I could
to where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
and having perhaps the better claim
because it was grassy and wanted wear;
though as for that, the passing there
had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
in leaves no feet had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood,
and I--I took the one less travelled by,
and that has made all the difference.
~Robert Frost

I have always loved this poem. It was one of the first I ever read or studied in school. It stuck with me, poignant to its very core. Suppositions have been made over the years as to the meaning behind the verse. It’s really not as simple as it appears – that one should take the road less travelled because it is less travelled. Frost tells us that at a decision making point we must choose and in the choosing be committed to that choice. “Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.” When we come to a fork in the road of life we have three simple options. Go one way. Go the other way. Stay put. Almost every choice, every path, has a price and we have to weigh the options, consider the costs and be very certain we are willing to pay whatever price may exist down the road we choose because far oft than not, there is no going back. Each choice generally leads us to another which leads us to another until the initial path is so far behind that getting back would be near impossible.

So what brought me to this musing point today? Anger. I’d almost say rage although over the years I’d like to think that I’ve mastered the control points in my life enough to avoid feeling true rage. Recently I feel as though my limits have been tested, tested and tested again. I’ve been struggling with multiple situations that strike such deep chords in me that I’m finding myself creeping back toward an anger, a rage, that I’d left far behind on one of my old paths. It’s a feeling that screams for action, for something to be done to correct the injustices metted out on those I love. The feelings of helplessness snapping tight around me, binding me like a prisoner being forced to watch the emotional execution of someone they love, are excruciating.

I often say that you have to bleed to know you are alive. I have always believed this is true both emotionally and spiritually.

The sweetest flower that ever bloomed
grows far deep inside a bush of thorns.
And happiness then is like the rose,
for without pain nothing good is born.

We suffer the pain of losing loved ones, of watching our children grow through the pains of life, of having our hearts broken in the name of love… So many things that we bleed through to learn and grow. An acquaintance of mine once quoted this to me: When a child has a growth spurt it can be painful. When an adult has a growth spurt… it is excruciating. Isn’t that the truth!

My family has been going through many trials these recent days. Some of the growing and learning has dredged up old wounds, regrets and bitterness. I had thought that most of those pains had been buried, long ago, in the dirt of a path overgrown by weeds and life that has come since then. In fact it had been. Honestly, I believed, at least until recently, that I was the product of a horrible, irrational, surreal series of events and personalities that created a nightmare, personal and unique unto myself. I was wrong.

Recenlty I came to the realization that the hurt, pain and events that I had assumed to be so unique are far more common then I had originally thought them to be. I struggled for years trying to understand my part in a series of relationships that left me exhausted, ripped open and struggling for a breath of wisdom. Finally, in a culmination of frustyration, love, pity and exhaustion, I chose to walk away; to close the door on the painful pieces of my life - no matter how much I loved those I left behind. In the process, I left a huge piece of my heart splattered on the rails of the roller coaster I was exiting; dripping love and loss. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done… giving up. In hindsight, I didn't really give up. I simply walked away to heal and grow. Yet another growth spurt.

I understand that pain. I hate that pain despite the amazing benefits that come from growing. I hate the helplessness I feel in watching the people I love struggle blindly in the glaring light of truth as events play out the true nature of one's spirit under duress. We often display our most secret selfish qualities when struggling for breath under scrutiny. It's an odd paradox that often when we need most to be honest and accept responsibility for our actions and their effects on others, that we as humans tend to exert an extraordinary amount of effort to deny our part in escalating circumstances and and avoid accountability for our actions. If we were to spend even half of that energy to find the fortitude and wisdom to simply accept our individual roles in a situation and then move forward fresh from a point, so much damage could be avoided in our lives. Sadly, most of us do not have the vision to see that until it's often too late.

I guess it is an unrealistic desire, to fix the pain and circumstances, but I think that part of love is the almost feral instinct to protect. I wish I could protect my family from the pain. The most I can do is be here and understand – offer an ear or a shoulder – and in as much as that’s not satisfactory to me, it’s all I have the ability to give outwardly. Inwardly though, I have my anger, my bordering rage at an injustice served upon people I love. And I have my beliefs. That we each reap the benefits and suffer the consequences of that which we sow in life. That those who through selfish motivations cause these great pains will be judged when the time comes. That we must bleed to grow. That rainbows are borne of storm clouds. And most importantly, as Mother Theresa so profoundly pointed out, you have to do what is right in your heart not what others believe you should do ~ “You see, in the final analysis, it’s between you and God, it was never between you and them anyway . . .”

Much love ~ Kimberly K.

Banished

2008-01-11T21:00:00.000-05:00

Disjointed meanderings tap our innermost disquiet.
Seething fury released to boil to the surface,
Tainting the façade.

Peace shatters, replaced with a tangled mass.
Tenacious emotions of obscured confusion
Escalate the irrelevant.

Fears amass feeding upon unfounded insecurities.
Faithless thoughts swarm unabashedly,
Swallowing reason.

Silence chokes the aftermath of raging emotions.
Clarity drips brazen enlightenment birthing
Cathartic reckoning.

Tears relinquish possession of thwarted rage.
Inner strength swells softly repairing
Heartfelt accord.

Eventide

2007-03-08T20:46:00.000-05:00

I want to know, when day is done
That life has been worth living,
That I have brought somebody joy
Through kind unselfish living.

I want to feel, when evening falls
and shadows quickly lengthen,
That I have made somebody glad
Some weakness I have strengthened.

I want to know, that come what may
I've left some cheer and gladness.
I want to feel, at close of day
I've banished someone's sadness.

I want to feel at eventide
That someone's cares were lighter,
Because of kindness I have done
May someone's life be brighter.

Unknown Author

Forgotten Queens

2007-02-21T12:37:00.000-05:00

Turning quickly in a heart's fluttered beat,
Images frighten waves of consciousness.
Anger torments reason's stoic nature.
A killer's eye comes to its prey and rests.

Brighid's flames brandish weapons of fury,
Fire raging unchecked through a raped soul.
Destruction pours from mortal bloodstained hands
Until the night sky trembles and grows cold.

The Morrighan appears above the battle,
Resolve resounding in the raven's eye.
The Gatherer walks swift across the field
Carrying home souls not yet meant to die.

Forgotten queens still grace the winds of time,
Keeping their spirits safe in heart and mind.

DISCORD

2006-11-22T20:51:00.000-05:00

Smooth waters lull into comfort,
Hearts void of anxiety’s tears.
New love’s calm pretense shudders
Before time lends us to fear.

When from safe harbors ships depart
And dark clouds roil above,
Tempers flare unchecked
As patience tests true love.

Anger echoes through the maelstrom.
True meaning’s left in binds.
Salt stings in open wounds.
Clear judgment’s left behind.

Through crashing sea and torrid wind
Two souls seek common ground.
Amidst the storm clouds swirling
Some comfort can be found.

O’er shrouded horizon distant
Breaks memory’s shining orb,
Reminding lovers sharply
That love begets discord.

Journey

2005-12-31T00:01:00.000-05:00

She stepped from the shadows
wrapped in the blackness of night.
Her eyes glowed deep violet,
tears reflecting the moonlight.

Alone she walks,
down a shrouded path,
searching for that fleeting moment,
the one that never lasts.

Each glimmer fading.
Each moment of trust betrayed.
Reaching into her soul
only to find sharp thorns have stayed.

The path winds gently
moving her through life.
Flickering moments of passion
taunt as her spirit ignites.

As the sun lays to rest
so shall the flames die down.
Leaving empty promises
where once bright hope was found.

Sighing softly, she picks up her heart.
Turning back now, gazing down the road,
not certain of her future,
nor where the path might go.

In her wake sleep gentle
lessons etched in gold.
Softly whispering ahead,
silver shimmers to unfold.

She smiles gently
continuing down the path,
waiting for the dawn to break
on a love that just might last.

I believe in the dream of life and the nightmare of living it.

Goodnight, Rogue

2005-07-18T21:00:00.000-04:00

The sun glinted off the silvered armor of her companion, making her blink as they ran across the long meadows headed for home. Home was a loose term. She hadn’t had a real home in what seemed ages. The guildhall in Freyll had been her home when she was pinned to the Order. It seemed so long ago now. Before that there had been the halls of Thane, to which she had returned for a brief period following her resignation as guild leader of the Order. Since her husband’s disappearance her heart had never been able to make peace with herself. She felt responsible for the turn of events that had led him into the hands of the dark prophet and thus to the undoing of his soul. It had been years since there was even a whisper of his whereabouts. For a long time she had paid well for information concerning his journeys, but then her spirit had grown weak and her mind closed until she moved through life without a drop of life left. It was as though she no longer existed.

A life of grandeur and notoriety had come easily to the young rogue early on. She had always had a predisposition for leadership and diplomacy. Her chosen path had led her into the lives of the most amazing people ever to walk the lands of Septia. She had been fortunate and quite prosperous for many years. As is common in the life of adventure, the sadness and pain of loss ate away at her until there was very little left of her flame. Like a candle, she burned out slowly and only a dim remembrance of who she had once been remained.

"Here ya are, Lass. Calthen Woods. You sure this is where you want to go?” His voice rang with concern, but his eyes showed that he really was more concerned with getting back to the city and selling his loot. Hunting in the icelands was quite a prosperous venture these days and many exploited it back on Dryden.

"Aye, Ren. I’ll be fine. Just have some business to take care of in the Pass. Take care of yourself.” Keira smiled softly and glanced at the waning sun. It would be night soon. She preferred the night.

The forest was a soothing mix of dark green and charcoal shadows. A chill wind swept her hair across the back of her neck sending rivulets of shivers down her back. She no longer skirted the woods in the evening hours as she once had. Caution meant very little to someone who no longer cared for life.

As she approached the edge of the pond, she glanced up through the trees at the fading light. The sky blushed soft rose between the darkening green leaves. The water was an inviting blanket of deep blue. Kneeling at the edge, she dipped a finger into the pond and brought it to her lips. It had always amazed her how clean this water was compared to many of the lakes and ponds she had come across in her travels. The cool water tasted almost sweet. Cupping her hands, she drank deeply. She was never good at keeping her food and water supplies replenished.

A noise in the brush behind her set her senses afire. Shifting slightly to blend into the shadows, she turned slowly and narrowed her eyes. A small bush, ensconced in shadows of its own, shuddered slightly. It could have almost been the wind, but Keira had been adventuring far too long to write off even the slightest of movements. Sinking lower to the ground she waited. A moment later, the edge of the bush seemed to break away and slowly move toward the water. As the creature neared, Keira twisted quickly bringing her left hand down in the center of the creature which seemed about half of her size and girth and pressing it harshly to the ground. Her right hand flicked the her small blade from its sheath and raised it above the creature, ready to strike.

Wide violet eyes glared-up at her from a tumble of brown skin and what appeared to be leaves. The child never made a sound. Slowly Keira released her grip on the young elf and brought her weapon to the ground.

"Are you alright?” Keira asked in the common tongue of her homelands. The little elf turned over and climbed onto her hands and knees, facing the tall human. She looked scared.

Long ago, Karianna had taught her the language of the wood elves. This child reminded Keira of the beautiful ranger in many ways. “Do you understand me now? Are you hurt?” The words came halting and awkward. She had never been very good at the other languages. She hoped the child understood her.

A small smile crossed the elf’s lips. “I do.” She responded, almost in a whisper. “I am unhurt. You scared me.”

"As you scared me.” Keira sheathed her knife and sat on the ground across from the child. “It’s not safe in the woods at night. Are you alone?” Keira’s mind played with the possible reasons for such a young elf being in the Calthen Woods so late at night. The woods had once been a beautiful refuge for those that practiced the arts of nature, but legions of undead raised by an unnamed god plagued the woods when the sun set now.

"I am alone.” The small elf smiled shyly. “I like adventure. Are you alone too?”

"Adventure is a grand journey, but one’s journey can be cut short when caution is forgotten. And yes, I often travel alone.” Keira thought it odd that this child spoke with such ease and no longer seemed frightened. Even with her being negated as an enemy, the chill in the woods was enough to make the bravest of warriors shudder. This child was far too comfortable.

"I was just thirsty. I would have gone back to the bushes as soon as I had a drink.” The elf cast her eyes down as though in shame.

"Well, let’s get you over to the Pass. It’s safe there. You can wait until daylight to continue on your grand adventure.” Keira stood and opened her pack, removing two small vials. “Drink this. It will make you unseen to most of the creatures that haunt these woods at night.”

The young elf eyed the vial a moment and looked back up at the rogue. “I don’t mind being visible. I am very good at hiding when it’s important.”

"I would feel better if you would.” Keira uncorked the small bottle and took a sip. “It’s safe. I wouldn’t harm you. There are more than enough darklings here if I felt the need for killing.” Keira winked and watched the child tentatively taste the liquid before gulping down the last of the bottle. The little elf’s image shifted and disbursed slightly. Taking her hand, Keira led the wood elf around the edge of the pond toward the path.

The journey was slow and tedious. Keira had to slip in and out of shadowed areas to avoid the creatures that tormented the forest’s rest. The child kept up with her well. She was surprised by how nimble and quick the little one was. As they made their way along the path, she whispered back to the elf, “Use caution. We are approaching a cabin where there have been many killings as of late.”

Large violet eyes glimmered at her as a smile danced on soft pink lips. “I am not afraid.”

As they neared a small clearing surrounding a crossroads, Keira slowed and came to pause by a tall tree. “Wait here just a moment and let me check to be sure the crossroads is clear. We’ll skirt the clearing to stay hidden in the trees.” The child nodded and leaned up close to the tall oak.

Releasing her hand, Keira slipped deeper into the shadows and moved through the trees, checking for any wandering foes that might impede the journey to the western path. Normally there were at least one or two of the undead patrolling the crossroads, watching for unwary travelers. The gods must be smiling on her, as the woods were unusually calm.

Returning to the tree, Keira’s heart skipped wildly. The child was nowhere in sight. “Little one?” Her voice came in a harsh whisper as she looked furtively around the tree for the small elf.

A soft voice sent a chill down the rogue’s spine. “I am here.” It was the child’s voice, but changed; as if soft velvet had imbued itself in her throat.

For the first time in a long while, Keira was afraid. She turned quickly, hand grasping the hilt of her blade as she whirled. She heard the soft words of magic as her body was suddenly raked with pain. Muscles seized and her limbs grew rigid. She couldn’t move. The voice grew silent as a soft fabric brushed against her arm. Violet eyes met hers as the child who was not a child, slipped into view. Dusky azure skin marked with silver runes surrounded the eerily beautiful eyes.

Keira had heard tales of the Harrier. She was rumored to be the mistress of the Unnamed. Gifted in the dark arts of enchantment, she was a deadly weaver of illusion. The female circled the human slowly, touching her hair, brushing slim fingers across her skin.

"You are known to me.” The velvet voice was laced with ice. “You have hunted my brethren far too long.” A sharp fingernail traced Keira’s throat as her mind screamed out to her muscles to respond, but the enchantress’ magic was strong.

With a slight motion of her hand, the dark one’s guardian pet emerged from the trees. Keira felt herself being dragged roughly across the ground, but was helpless to do anything. The magic chains held her muscles tightly in check as the creature dropped her to the dirt path at the center of the crossroads. A flick of the enchantress’ wrist brought the rogue’s body upright, locked in mock attention.

"I think this a fitting place for your grave. A warning to all those that pass through here.” The dark mistress circled the human once more and came to rest in front of the rogue. “You deal in poisons, I suspect. That will make this all the more delicious. My cousin has been playing with some new venom brought in by some of our warriors. He’s given me a sampling to play with.” A wicked grin exposed sharp pointed teeth black as night. Keira felt her stomach turn to ice. “Now then, which one to try?” The dark elf mimicked a thoughtful expression, taunting the rogue as she tapped her chin. Keira’s soul raged within the bonds of her petrified muscles. “Oh bother. I’ll just use them all.”

The enchantress brought forth several vials from hidden pockets of her dark velvet robe. Each was tiny, but knowing poisons as she did, Keira was certain that just one could most likely kill her if not treated quickly enough. A long silvered nail stretched out toward her exposed neck. The sharp nail pierced the soft white skin just below her ear. As much as her muscles were dead to her now, Keira’s senses were alive and screaming. The darkling pulled the tip of her nail down the rogue’s neck, slicing her skin open to the base of her throat. Warm blood dripped from the wound and slithered beneath her breastplate. The enchantress pulled her finger back and drew it across her tongue as she wrapped red lips around it. Keira’s stomach heaved as she watched the wretch savor her blood.

Her body, no longer in her control, stood erect as the Harrier dripped poisons from each vial carefully in the wound she had opened. Burning sensations followed by chilling lances of cold racked Keira’s body as she stood at the mercy of the dark one. Her mind grew groggy from the pain and fear. Finally the enchantress stepped back and met the rogue’s dilated eyes. “You will remember me to your gods, won’t you?” She spat the words as a smile laced with contempt played on her lips. “Wretched journeys, Rogue.” With a wave of her hand, Keira’s body was released and she crumbled to the ground as the heathen slipped away.

Every inch of her being screamed with pain. Muscles that had so recently been frozen twitched and raged against the poisons seeping into her. Her mind began to close in upon her as the sickening pain traveled the length of her. Rolling onto her back, she looked up into the sky and saw the silver-red moon, a blood moon. She had once equated her greatest enemy, Morrighean, with the blood moon. The irony did not evade her.

She focused her eyes on the mystical orb and for the first time in many years, prayed. She did not pray for life, nor did she pray for death, but instead asked for those she had loved to be watched over and that the shadows gather round them whenever there might be need. Her eyes began to close as the pain started to fade into the roaring storm of her mind. She knew poisons such as these. There would be much suffering before they lent her an end. She could only hope that the wakening times would be far shorter than the soft weave of unconsciousness into which she now slipped, the image of the blood moon etched upon her lids.